


Falling Down

by Burningchaos



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Character Study, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-11-29
Updated: 2005-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-23 06:02:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17074742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burningchaos/pseuds/Burningchaos





	Falling Down

Falling Down  
Stargate Atlantis  
General, Rodney McKAy  
PG  
Spoilers for trinity  
Not mine, although I would love it if Rodney were...

 

Rodney was lost, it was a strange and unsettling feeling. He was used to always knowing what to do, how to act how to solve every problem if he just tried hard enough. This though, the utter lack of direction, was new and it was going to kill him if he couldn’t figure it out.

His mind keep swerving back to Elizabeth’s office and her screaming, yes screaming. Her temper was a force to be reckoned with, it was something Rodney had never seen and hoped to never again. He could hear her words echoing over and over in his mind. “Reckless, utter lack of control, egocentric” were a few that had flown from her mouth as she vibrated with anger.

The halls were dark as he paced down them, weeks had passed and he was still under supervision, still not a part of the ‘team’. He could feel himself being consciously ignored by everyone; he could feel the weight of their pitying and accusatory stares ever where he went. He had never wanted this; he never wanted to be the one who had to save everyone. He had never wanted to be Samantha Carter. Yet here he was becoming her, the go to guy. If Rodney can’t do it was always the unspoken theme running through Atlantis.

Or at least it had been. Now he was fallible, he was a mere human now. Which in truth he always had been, granted it wasn’t something he cared to admit to but he was. He was one man. Yes he was a genius; he could pull the proverbial rabbit out of his hat nine times out of ten. He could and often would save the day just in time. Not anymore.

His rampant insecurities that were buried underneath the snark, berating and ego were now visible to any and all who bothered to look. Not that anyone did. He was still a pariah. On the outside looking in, as he had been his entire life till he came here.

Rodney stopped walking he refused to be like this, unsteady and confused. He wanted it to be tomorrow, he wanted it to be all just a dream. He wanted to feel like there was solid ground under his feet again. Sliding down the wall and leaning his head back against it Rodney knew it would take as long for him to trust himself again as it would for the other’s to trust him.

He was caught in between; he was trapped in this role until he was once again called on to save the day. What bothered him most of all was the fear of not being good enough, of failing again and not being to be able to escape this place he was in, this place of not being.


End file.
